wonderful

“If you insist.”

Dear World,

Are you done yet? I’ve gotten the same lecture at least five times, alright? I get it. I was wrong, again, and it was disrespectful and very very wrong.

Signed,
Loser with a Piece of Paper

On another note, seriously, you were the one who told me to call her and tell her to cover for me in the first place, and yes I owe her an explanation, but don’t put that whole thing on me because, and you know it, I called you and said that I wasn’t going to go yesterday because of what my parents said, and you told me to call her and ask her to cover for me because you’re sure that she would do it. She had nothing to do with it past 7 pm and it’s none of her fault past then, and she did do the right thing. I gave her an explanation, sort of, well she gave me one and we still have more talking to do because she had work to do. As for you, I didn’t lie to you. I told you that I wanted to go out with him, you threatened me with a fist several times and told me that I wasn’t allowed to talk to him until Thursday, and I was actually going to go home, call my dad on the way there and ask him to pick me up, but I couldn’t. So I didn’t call you and update you and tell you that I’m going out with my boyfriend anyway even after you said to, but I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t call you to tell you what was going on. Capeesh? Not that it matters. Don’t lecture me about what to do. It’s the same lecture that I’ve heard so many times, and I honestly don’t want to hear it from you. I’m not even going to bother defending myself because you’re just going to say that I was being disrespectful toward people who weren’t even involved (you aside) and that I was being disrespectful to you because I didn’t call you to tell you every single thing that I was doing, that I didn’t call you when I changed location, and so on and so forth. And honestly, you were the last person I was going to call because of your threatening and harsh way of enforcing your opinion, so don’t tell me that you would have understood, because you didn’t understand the first time, the second time, or the third time that I told you that I wanted to call him and go out with him.

Congratulations to my two blood people who are not my parents anymore. One of them decided that instead of calling all of my friends himself this time, he was going to threaten my friend who was covering for me to call the police on her unless she called all of my friends and spread the word. What an idiot. To the somewhat more feminine (biologically, and only biologically) of the two, you are an idiot who doesn’t care about me anyway so stop pretending to plix thanks. I came home and you were snoring away. Worried my tush. Save the lectures, both of you, because I’m clearly not going to say anything back. I don’t want to build trust with you, in fact, I’d love to destroy it because I believe in karma, and if I don’t trust you, then why should you trust me? That was lower than you’ve ever gone before, getting one of my closest friends to do your dirty work for you and then lecturing me about how I’m a sucky friend. Why do you think that she was the only one of my friends I called afterwards? Because she was the only person on my mind at that moment, okay? Well, her and myself.

To the friend who was dissing up my boyfriend and telling me that I’m too overly dependant on other people, I’d appreciate if you stopped that because you know I know that and it looks like you just really want to shoot me down right now while you can, while everyone else is. On top of all that, he’s my boyfriend and I honestly don’t see any reason why I can’t talk and rant to him. Maybe he’s not as helpful to you as he is to me, but then again, I don’t know if you’ve ever ranted to him before so I can’t say that, and if you haven’t, neither can you. I don’t rant to you either, you know, because you’re not sympathetic at all, and you’re honestly one of the last people I’d rant to because you never show any sympathy at all. You’re a great friend, just not great to rant at, that’s all.

Am I cold right now? Yeah, I’m really cold. I don’t expect sympathy, but I don’t want to be shot down either.

To my friend who graciously and willingly covered for me, don’t feel bad and I don’t know why you’re not angry at me but you don’t seem to be. You still ended your message with a heart and told me to be okay and kept on telling me that you were hoping that I was okay and to please be okay. I don’t know what I did to deserve that kind of sympathy from you, especially since you haven’t been updated much at all about my current stressed life (blood parents and school and extra curricular activities and all) but I owe you a lot. Don’t even feel bad for cracking because he was just being very low and if anything, irresponsible. It’s not my fault that his own blood people hate his tush. It’s not my fault that he can’t handle me and I honestly couldn’t care less because one of these days, I’m going to find a real family, and you’re the new standard. In any case, if you’re mad at me just get mad at me please because I deserve it. You’re the only person who can yell at me and get mad at me right now and I wouldn’t have anything to say for myself. What I did was wrong to begin with and totally not your fault. I don’t know why I decided to involve you, whether it be because my friend told me to and that it’d be fine (though I was the one who ultimately called you) or because I just really wanted to get out, but you have every right to do anything you want right now.

As for the rest of the world, I know it was my fault, and everyone says that it is and I know it is so will you please stop telling me something that I already know? You don’t go up to people and say, “one plus one equals two” everyday because it really does not matter. I get it. I also get the so many people were worried about me and thought that I was dying and so on and so forth. Yes I sparked the whole thing, but I wasn’t the one who decided to spread the word. I had one phone and I called three people, only one of which was my friend who covered for me (who, by the way, was already asleep, who I proceeded to call this morning, okay?), the other two calls being parents. If you were one of the people who did not get called by my friend who was covering for me, then you really shouldn’t know about this right now anyway, but you do because other people decided to spread the word. So don’t put that on me, because I wasn’t the one who picked up the phone and called you, mmkay? Although I was the one who sparked the conversation, nobody was forcing anybody to spread it around.

I’m not angry with anyone right now except for the blood people, but everyone’s angry with me so I really don’t know why I’m saying this. But there you go. I’m ready when you are.

To all the hitmen out there, can you come and find me tonight in my sleep please? I’d appreciate it.

Word of the Day: Threaten.